Just How Far Will Flattery Get You?

Photo courtesy of lover-of-life
Just when I thought the art of flattery was dead, I got a gushing e-mail from a client complimenting some work I recently completed on a project for him. When I realized that he took actual time out of his work day to deliberately write me an email for the sole reason of giving me a virtual high five, I was so moved that it made me stop and think: did kudos go out of style when Myspace did?

If you think about it, in our daily lives, whether at work or at home, compliments are kind of hard to come by these days. Bosses, clients, coworkers and sometimes even family members are quick to point out our flaws and shortcomings, but seem less likely to let us know when we’re rocking it. According to a recent survey that I just found, one out of eight women said that they had not received a compliment in the past three months. Not one single compliment in ninety days! Things are dire, dear readers.

As human beings, we need to be told that we’re doing a good job. Sure, we get a paycheck every week, but sometimes we aren’t sure if that means we’re a stellar employee or because they HAVE to pay us. We all need to hear that we are appreciated, and that what we do makes someone else’s life easier, right? Hearing that we are appreciated and needed encourages us to perform even better, and gives us the motivation to hone our skills even further.

The problem may be that some adults are uncomfortable with receiving compliments, which tends to give others less inclination to praise them. However, even if someone repeatedly brushes off your flattery, rest assured that they are secretly internalizing those positive comments and their self-esteem is getting a boost. You can make someone’s entire week with just a few small words. Imagine that! You have the power to change someone’s WEEK from bad to good with one sentence and a smile!

Naturally, sometimes in the garden of life we encounter a few thorns that need to be tamed or pruned a bit so that they do more good than harm. But when life gives us roses, be sure to point out how lovely they are, and how sweetly fragrant they smell. You might see them bloom even bigger, right before your eyes.

Spread the word!

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    • Laurie

      I guess I miss posts when they are released (or reread them) because I will need to read them in order for a message to be solidified by future events…Today, one of my coworkers commented that what they missed most in my absence was that I am the ONLY source of positive re-enforcement and compliments that he has in his life.  I thought he was just trying to pick up my spirits and take my mind of pain I am feeling, but after reading this post, I think I will express more positives and compliments that pop into my mind.  Thank you for your beautiful and insightful wordsmithing.  You definitely add to beauty, assistance and fun to my life’s daily path!

      • Adrienne McGuire

        Laurie – that is SO SAD!!! I feel really badly that there are people in this world who aren’t getting any positivity or compliments. I agree with you and I will make an even bigger effort to make positive comments to as many people as possible. As always, glad you are enjoying reading.