As a parent of children born into Generations Y and Z (born between 1980-present), I’m feel like I’m constantly nudging them to communicate more.  You know, the “old fashioned” kind of communication – the kind where you speak to others, face to face, without using an electronic device, and really laughing out loud.

With the constant advancement of technology, it’s a safe bet that the way we communicate with our friends and loved ones has changed forever. The important thing to remember is that it doesn’t have to change completely.

Those of us who grew up in Generation X (born 1965-1979) were raised with a pleasant mixture of basic technology awareness combined with real world communication skills. Most of us who are now approaching 40 spent our crucial developmental years without even one computer in our homes! We whiled away our childhoods playing with the neighborhood kids, engaged in make-believe games - and as teens, writing love notes on paper and talking endlessly on phones with cords.

Our children, on the other hand, have been raised with cell phones to distract them while we changed their diapers, iPod touches on their 8th birthdays, Instagram accounts and Facebook profiles.  Even their school interactions are shifting toward the impersonal, with more and more learning and instruction taking place on Smart Boards, iPads and laptop computers.

As a result, many of today’s young people have a serious deficit when it comes to communication skills, making real life relationships difficult to navigate. I’ve witnessed this phenomenon first hand, and frankly, I’m more than a little bit concerned. Fostering and nurturing friendships and family bonds are skills that are learned. The problem?     No one’s teaching them.

If you have a Gen Y or Z child (or are one yourself), try implementing some of the following simple steps to ensure better all-around relationship success.

1. Say those three little words. With the foundations of so many relationships today being built on the internet and via text messaging, many people have had a brainfart when it comes to showing emotions in person. If someone is important to you – tell them! Show your appreciation for the people in your life, and say “I love you” to your family members at least once a day.
2. Make eye contact. This is a skill that has fallen victim to the replacement of real life conversations with text messages.  Many people today find eye contact uncomfortable simply because texting doesn’t require it. To get more comfortable with looking into someone’s baby blues, you’ll need to practice. When you’re listening to a friend speak, look at them. Try not turn your attention away at the slightest distraction.
3. Quality over quantity. It’s ok to text and email. There’s no fighting it – we’re living the technology era. However, it doesn’t take much effort to spend some quality time each day with those who mean the most to you. Quality in this case means in-person interactions with no screens.
4. Call instead of text. The next time you need to get ahold of somebody – why not give them a ring instead of shooting them another text? A phone call is more personal, and many people have simply dropped the habit of talking on the phone.
5. Ask questions. During those times you set aside for quality interaction – show your interest in others by asking them poignant questions about their well-being.  Inquire about their day, or simply ask pointedly, “How’ve you been?”  Maintaining eye contact and listening intently to the answer lets people know that you care about what they have to say.
6. Leave the phone at home. I know it sounds impossible, but it’s really not.  After you leave your phone at home once, you’ll experience a sense of freedom. If it’s not an absolute necessity, turn it off or let it charge on the kitchen counter while you’re enjoying time with your friends or family.

Most importantly, make real life interactions a priority. If you must have your cell phone with you during family or other social outings, keep it silenced and refrain from checking it too often. As you try to make the most of this self-learning process called life, staying engaged in the people around you is one of the most enjoyable things that you might’ve never even realized you’ve been missing.

Photo courtesy of a2gemma

Women have endlessly been type-cast as naggers on comedic TV shows and in famous comedy sketches around the world. Unfortunately, there’s a reason why we find those bits so funny – there’s more than an element of truth to them.

Of course, any duo that’s comprised of a Type-A, super-organized person and an easily distracted, forgetful type is bound to face a fair amount of conflict, whether the Type-A is a female or not. Howard Markman, professor of psychology at The University of Denver, says that although either sex can nag, women are the more likely offenders because as a rule they feel more responsible for keeping the home and family running smoothly. Women are also more sensitive to early changes in relationships, so when they ask and don’t receive, they know something is amiss and begin to panic.

It’s kind of obvious that being endlessly nagged is annoying and can be quite detrimental to any relationship. What’s not as obvious is that even the naggers hate nagging! So, why do they do it? And how can they stop?

The most important thing to realize is that naggers pester the people they love and care about the most. The closeness of a relationship can lead to a comfort level that allows nagging to stem from concern. Unfortunately, even though it may come from a good place, constant reminding, bugging and nitpicking feels a far cry from love. It’s an important behavior to self-assess if relationships are to flourish.

To be clear, psychologists say that there are definitely more than one type of naggers – not all reminders are bad, and some are actually part of being a good person.  It’s all in how you go about it and why you’re doing it in the first place.

Gentle reminders that genuinely come from a loving place aren’t normally something to worry about. Especially if the gestures are meant for your children, and they’re still relatively young. Be aware though, that what you may perceive as gentle reminders may actually feel quite annoying to others, such as a partner, spouse, and older children (teens.)

If you feel like you’re being ignored – you probably are. Asking someone to meet your needs multiple times with no response is a definite problem – and not only yours. The reason for your nagging is that you feel unheard, and oftentimes the reason you’re being ignored is because the other person feels harassed.

The solution is just as twofold as the problem, as it involves both players. And since Dr. Markman suggests that “Nagging is an enemy of love, if allowed to persist,” it’s something to address as soon as you recognize it in your relationship, or preferably, avoid it altogether.

The best way to eliminate the need for nagging in your relationship is to open the lines of communication from the very beginning, or as early as possible. When I met my current husband, I knew that nagging was a no-no because I had already been married once before.

It’s vital to be heard in any relationship, especially those that are most important in our lives. The key is to agree on a system of airing grievances that works for both of you. Create wording that makes both of you feel safe and avoid insulting or belittling each other at all times. On the flip side, when your partner asks you for something important, make sure you deliver. This system of safe and gentle sharing along with follow through develops trust, security, and appreciation, which will allow your relationship to succeed and your self-worth to skyrocket.

Last week, a friend and I were sharing the traits we liked most about each other, and we remarked that time has given us a new perspective on friendship. In addition to getting older, living mindfully has also given me a pretty good handle on the type of people I enjoy being around.

For me, a typical ‘friend interview’ goes something like this: I’m introduced, in any number of ways, to someone new.  I almost immediately begin evaluating this person’s friendability. My scoring system is simple: if I get a good feeling when I’m around you – boom – we’re friends.

Nine times out of ten, going with your gut instinct works pretty well, but it is possible to get the wrong first impression.

Unfortunately, you often won’t discover someone’s annoying traits until the two of you get more familiar and comfortable with each other. As long as her worst habit is biting her nails or telling really bad jokes – you’ve got nothing to worry about.

It’s when familiarity breeds contempt rather than closeness that you’ve got a problem. Breaking up with a friend is hard to do, but putting up with more than one item on this list is enough to drive anyone straight to Friendship Divorce Court:

• Chronic interruptions – Let’s face it – we’ve all interrupted someone before. However, when someone makes a habit of cutting you off mid-sentence, it shows that he or she honestly doesn’t care what you’ve got to say. Someone who is worth having as a friend wants to hear what you’re thinking, and they respect your opinion enough not to interrupt while you’re sharing your thoughts.
• Habitual lying – Honesty is (almost) always the best policy, whether it’s between friends or lovers. Most of us turn to someone we trust for advice, and we really do want to know if those pants make us look fat. If you’ve caught a friend in several lies, you can be sure that there are many more lurking in the shadows of your friendship.
• Unannounced visits – THE POP-IN is an act of disrespecting someone’s schedule, time, and privacy. The type of person who practices frequent pop-ins puts their time at a much higher level of importance than yours.
• Constant attempts to make you look bad – Whether to your face or behind your back, if you’ve got a friend who has such incredibly low self-esteem that she wants to bring you down to her level, show her to the door, and fast. You deserve to be surrounded by people who boost you up instead of weigh you down.
• Perpetual guilting – This type of person never seems to handle her responsibilities, in and outside of the friendship. This can be extremely tiring and frustrating, because oftentimes you will end up as the scapegoat.
• Continual complaining – Unless you share a mutual love of grumbling – nobody likes a whiner, right?
• Bossiness - No friend of yours has the right to tell you what to do. Friends should give advice, not orders.
• Excessive gossiping – Know that if she’s talking about other people when she’s with you, she’s talking about you when she’s with other people.
• An inability to be wrong – Do you know what having a friend who’s ‘never’ wrong means? It means that you’re ALWAYS WRONG – and that’s just no fun at all.
• A total lack of self-awareness - This type of person has trouble with social cues, overstays her welcome, invites herself to your house (with or without your knowledge – the POP-IN), and rarely shows up to scheduled events on time. Her worst crime? She has no idea she’s committing friendship murder.

Don’t waste your precious time with someone unless you feel pretty darn great when you’re together. Oh, and if you get the distinct feeling that you’re being given the slip, perhaps it’s time to look at your own friendability score.

Photo courtesy of Ion-bogdan Dumitrescu

I do my best to steer clear of people who argue more than they laugh, but sometimes interacting with antagonists is just something that can’t be avoided. If you’re unfortunate enough to have someone in your life that loves to use you as a figurative punching bag, you’ve probably tried (and failed) to win at least one argument against them.

Having disagreements with the people in our lives is totally normal, and once we’ve reached adulthood, most of us have figured out some good strategies to calmly resolve differences of opinion. However, this proves to be a little bit more difficult if the person just can’t stand you.

I know what you’re thinking. “What – me? Everyone likes me!” And, while I applaud your high self-esteem, your self-awareness may need a little tweaking.

Even if you do your damndest to say a friendly hello to all of your coworkers each morning, wave a cheery greeting to your neighbors every evening, and try to be the best employee/coworker/friend in between – somewhere, sometime, somehow – there’s probably someone who just – doesn’t like you.

Their distaste for you may be unjustified, or perhaps it’s mutual and the two of you just don’t jive well.  As Charles Colton once said, sometimes “we hate [people] because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them.” In my younger days, I lived less mindfully. I tended to decide whether I liked someone without really knowing them at all.

I later learned (by accident) that if we get to know someone we “hate,” the outcome is often surprisingly pleasant.

Nevertheless, if you’re currently on the receiving end of someone who has taken a strong aversion to you, any exchanges the two of you have are likely causing you a significant deal of anxiety. The more frequently you have to interact, the more distressed you’ll become. Being afraid to go to work every day (or anywhere this person is likely to be) is no way to live. Instead of displaying fearful, nail biting body language or blasting her back when she accuses you of something – stop.

Bullies thrive on intimidating others; antagonists love a good fight, and you are going to be the one to put an end to it.

Do you want to know the absolute, number one way to stop someone from arguing with you?

Simply take away their ability to argue.

Don’t interrupt her, but when she’s finished doling out what she feels is her winning end of a debate – smile. Take a breath, and speak in a low voice. Say something neutral, like, “Ok. I didn’t realize I was doing that. Can you clarify (this or that) for me, so I can work on it in the future?” Smile.

It’s (almost) impossible to argue with someone who won’t fight back. By using low tones, you’ll calm your opponent down, and by not firing back, you’ll be the one who took the high road. While you may not really agree with her, you’ll have diffused the situation while looking like the good guy, and you’ll have conserved your mental energy for someone who really matters.

When a marriage ends, it’s normal for both parties to feel a wide array of emotions, including: anger, anxiety, confusion, disappointment, fear, freedom, guilt, loneliness, relief and sadness. Most people go through a mourning period after a breakup or divorce, even if the relationship had turned sour.  This happens due to the loss of a future that no longer exists.

Three years ago, my ex-husband and I just weren’t working as a romantic couple any longer. Deciding to divorce after ten years of marriage was a painful and difficult decision for both of us. During the time surrounding the separation and divorce, unanswered questions ate at me. How would I support my children financially? Who would I turn to for emotional support? Would I lose the close friendships I’d formed with my in-laws? How could I protect my children from feeling insecure during such an unsettling time?

Since the end of a marriage or long-term relationship is one of the most emotional hurdles that you’ll ever have to face, make it your goal just to clear this one without falling flat on your face. A little stumbling is to be expected.

• Feel the pain. Like physical pain, being mindfully aware of emotional pain is crucial and will help you overcome the worst of it much faster. Allow yourself to sit with your feelings. Give yourself permission to let the grief and sadness wash over you. Sit with your pain and really feel it. In doing so, you release the power it has over you.
• Then feel happy. Although it may not be as instantaneous or complete as you’d like, mindfully releasing your grief will make room for a degree of happiness to eke its way back in.
• Accept the change. As you begin to feel little twinges of happiness again, you’ll also want to mindfully accept this new life as your life now.
• Talk, talk, talk. Whether it’s a paid professional or a close friend, verbalizing your feelings is another great release. Speak your worries, and then let them go.
• Keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. Your life isn’t over; it’s just different. Although it may seem impossible at first, your life at the end of the grieving period may be even better than before.

Once you’ve been able to accept the changes that’ve transpired, you’ll want to focus on moving forward and living your new life to the fullest. Dr. Phil says:

• Explain to your kids what Mom and Dad’s new relationship is. They need to understand that you’re still a team, but they also need some clarity on your new roles. Don’t try to “outparent” your ex. Do you really want your children to have a bad parent? Focus on the future and begin to see your ex from your children’s point of view instead of your own.

If you don’t have kids, you’ll get to the next part faster:

• Make some time to get reacquainted with yourself.  This might take quite awhile; you’ve probably been getting at least part of your self-awareness through the feedback provided to you by your significant other. Re-visit some of your old hobbies or explore something new. Let yourself be a little selfish and take the time you need to strike a harmonious balance again.
• Don’t play the blame game. Instead, focus your energy on what you can do to make your life better now. Keep your eyes facing forward and give yourself permission to be happy regardless of what has transpired in your relationship.

As a newly single person, you’re not up against the world – but you are up against two version of yourself. Whether you find happiness after divorce has nothing to do with the world around you. Dig deep, find your inner strength, and let your best self prevail.

Photo courtesy of Melissa Maples

It’s become a popular trend to come from “a place of yes” in many aspects of the hustle and bustle of modern life.  The pressure is on to do good deeds, raise well-rounded kids, have a respectable job, serve on a multitude of committees, attend the right social events, and look good while doing it all seamlessly.

I support the idea of generally coming from a place of yes; in fact, one of the quotes I live by is: “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference” (Winston Churchill). I work hard to make sure my children know that they can do anything they set their minds to. I applaud their attempts at new things and their willingness to step out of their comfort zones whenever possible. And of course, I lead them by example.

With all of that being said, without the right boundaries in place, this can easily lead to a life crammed too full of all the wrong things. By saying “yes” too often to others, your life may suddenly seem emptier than ever before.

The solution sounds easy enough, but suddenly saying ”no” can be quite difficult. Your desire to keep the peace, fear of appearing rude, and a strong desire to be helpful are some of the reasons that may be causing you to overfill your plate, time and time again.

Surprisingly, many people report that others begin to show a newfound respect for them once they start declining, and that their own self awareness improves exponentially. The key is finding the right way to say “no.”

• Get clear on your “Yes.”  Decide what is most important in your own life, and get your priorities in order. By putting your needs first (and the needs of your family), you’ll then have a better idea of how much you can agree to take on without cutting in to your own time, creating a sweet balance.
• Think before agreeing. Some people feel pressured into taking on more than they can handle when put on the spot.  To avoid this, practice buying time. Tell the person that you’d like to think about it/check your calendar/ask so-and-so before committing. By putting a little time between the request and your response, you’ll have an easier time coming up with a reason for saying “no.” Anyone who is respectful of your time will be ok with waiting for a response.
• Offer an alternative. Sometimes you may get requests for your help when you’re really not the best person for the task. If this happens, explain that while you may not be able to offer much help, you can steer them in the right direction to get the help they need.
• Share your reasons. If you simply can’t help because you’re too busy, it’s ok to say that. Explain that you’d love to help, but that you’ve got x, y, and z going on at the moment, and that you don’t like to commit to something if you can’t devote the appropriate amount of time and effort required to do it well.

It’s easy to fall into a pattern of bowing to others’ needs before your own, but it’s also really important to get out of that habit as soon as possible. Helping other people is admirable and can be an extremely rewarding part of life, as long as you leave more than enough time in your schedule to be able to stop and smell the roses on a regular basis.

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that has mutated into a commercialized abyss into which many of us repeatedly toss scads of our hard-earned money. Besides the fact that we’re already a nation overwhelmed with material possessions (most of which we don’t really need), how about thinking outside the proverbial gift box this year?

Believe it or not, there actually are much better ways to demonstrate your appreciation and love than slapping a heart shaped box of calories onto the kitchen counter as you mutter, ”Happy Valentine’s Day, Babe,” before you scoot off to work for the day. Think you’ve done your job as one half of a relationship?  Think again.

Let’s take a look at some of the more creative ways to express how much you love someone. Although Valentine’s Day is typically for lovers, it’s also appropriate to celebrate your love for your children or other friends and family members who hold a special place in your heart.

For your significant other:

• The snail mail - This idea is going to require a little bit of forethought, but you may be able to to accomplish it quite easily with the convenience of the Internet. Research a way to to get your hands on a postcard from the town, restaurant, or wherever the two of you happened to meet. You could try mailing it from the local post office, but you’d risk the postcard arriving on the wrong day. A better plan is to strategically place the postcard in with the rest of his or her mail on February 14th.
• The Shades of Grey gift basket -  If you need ( or simply want ) to spice things up in the bedroom, create a gift basket filled with things meant only for your lover’s eyes. Some ideas include: a blindfold, handcuffs, massage oil, candles, a CD of romantic music, bubble bath, a sexy board game, and anything else that might turn your lover on!
• The notebook -  In a luxurious notebook, write down one thing you love about your significant other every single day for one year. Present it to your partner wrapped in a bow on Valentine’s Day. If you like the sound of this idea, but haven’t had the necessary prep time, dedicate some time each day to create a similar list in the days leading up to the 14th.
• The big favor -  Take over doing your partner’s most hated chore for a time period of your choice.
• The scavenger hunt – Send your partner on a fun and exciting set of clues that ends with you waiting at your love’s favorite restaurant or store.
• The recipe – Pick a recipe that you can both cook and enjoy together. The time you spend together preparing the meal will be the real gift.
• The adventure – Discover an unusual part of your city or town that you’ve never experienced before.  Take the day off work and explore it together.
• The money saver- Create a fun basket filled with everything you’ll need for a fun and affordable date night in: popcorn, a movie rented from Redbox or your local library (look for free movie codes), a small bottle of champagne (optional), a deck of cards, a few chocolate-dipped strawberries. If you have kids, see if Grandma and Grandpa want to have a sleepover that night!

For your children:

• The treasure hunt – Send them all around the house searching for new clues leading them to a fun, colorful box full of their favorite goodies.
• The list – Make a fancy list of 14 things you love about your child and frame it. You could also include it in the treasure box above.

As a family:

• The new tradition – Together, decide on a new family tradition that you would like to start. My husband, sons and I have a ‘Foovie (Family+Food+Movie) Night’ every other Saturday. We snuggle up as a family, enjoying delicious bowls of buttered popcorn and chocolates. No cell phones or other distractions are permitted, allowing us to focus on our time together. Perhaps you could start your first tradition on Valentine’s Day this year, or even the day after Valentine’s Day (since it will be the start of a weekend).
• The walk - Set a family date to take a walk together on February 14 this year, if the weather permits. Walking together is a great way to spend family time because you can mindfully enjoy the outdoors and your loved ones simultaneously.
• The project – Whether your family is into art, science, cooking, fixing, building or something else entirely, put your heads together and come up with a project that you’d all like to contribute to.
• The helping hand – This February, make it one of your family’s goals to help those less fortunate around you. Not only will you be helping those in need, but you’ll be doing something really meaningful together.

By doing something a little off the straight and narrow this year, you’ll shift the focus from materialism to what really matters. And remember that any day is a great time to slow down and take the time to appreciate those closest to your heart.

Unconditional love is considered by many to be the ultimate of all affections, a love that knows no bounds and cannot be broken. A concept sometimes referred to as ‘mother’s love’, this type of bond is typically only found in extremely long-term committed relationships and among close (usually immediate) family members.

Should we love our family unconditionally?

Of course we should. In fact, without the security of unconditional love, most children will not be able to thrive. Unfortunately, I’ve witnessed that firsthand. I personally whole-heartedly adore the two beings I helped to create. Each one of them has flaws, but to me, the mix of all of their traits (the good and the less-than-good) combine to make two people I love without bounds.

That sentiment generally holds true for all family members. You can pick your friends and your nose, and you can pick many a rose, but you can’t pick your family. No matter how many fights you and your brother have, at the end of the day, he’s still your brother.

What about romantic unconditional love?

While it’s true that there are people involved in no-holds-barred romantic relationships, it’s also true that those relationships are undeniably doomed.  Those people who present others with the gift of their unconditional devotion often do so at the cost of their own emotional well-being. They can also lose their sense of self, making them dependant on their significant other for validation.

The bottom line is this: all healthy relationships must exist with some conditions and boundaries. In relationships with no boundaries, or where basic conditions like respect are missing, eventually the love vanishes and all that’s left are invisible lines that were crossed and unspoken needs that weren’t met.

Loving someone despite their physical appearance, ethnicity, financial status, medical conditions and other similar factors that may be out of their control is about as close to unconditional love as you should get. Instead, you should be on the lookout for some basic telltale signs that your relationship is headed in the right direction:

• Mutual respect: You should give and receive respect in a sound relationship. If your significant other regularly disrespects you, your future together doesn’t look promising.
• Trust: Neither party in the relationship should give the other one a reason to doubt their word. Period.
• Compatibility: Do you have fun together (in and out of the bedroom)?
• Good communication: Even solid relationships have bumps along the way. Happy couples have staying power if they can effectively share, listen, and problem solve together.
• Equality: Resentment builds quickly when one spouse or partner feels overworked and unappreciated.
• Room for personal growth: Healthy teamwork aside, the most satisfied couples are the ones who allow eachother to strive for and achieve personal goals.
• Security: The ability to be your true self without worrying what your partner will think is one example of how happy couples make each other feel safe and secure.

Requiring your significant other to meet your needs is something that all smart, self-confident people should be doing. Be sure to honor your partner’s wants and needs, too. Save the unconditional love for members of your family tree. When it comes to romantic love, conditions are required.

Every year I look forward to December 1st with great anticipation. On that day, our family decorates our home for Christmas. We make a huge event out of it – using teamwork to lug all of the dusty boxes from the attic, heaving and grunting under their weight, but loving the exertion because we know what their contents represent. My favorite part of the day comes when, after hours of deciding on the perfect location for all of the glittery snowmen and the mistletoe, we flip open the boxes filled with ornaments. Each tiny but ornate decoration reminds us of all of the happy Christmases we’ve spent together, and we reminisce about years gone by as we select the perfect spot on the tree for each treasured trinket.

Researchers tell us that the fun holiday traditions that our families enjoy every year are actually way more important than most of us probably ever realized. They’re so important, in fact, that families who establish and regularly carry out yearly traditions are stronger and have more tightly bonded members than other families because these rituals instill a deep sense of consistency and reliability in an otherwise hectic world. Traditions that we can rely on help us develop feelings of trust and confidence – two very important characteristics that aid in creating mentally stable and happy individuals.

Because traditions create a sense of unity among family members, it means that people in families who practice yearly traditions will be less likely to seek out feelings of belonging elsewhere in other (potentially negative or dangerous) social circles. This naturally adds even more strength and importance to the familial bond. Family traditions help build a sense of identity in all members of your family, because the customs you create will be special and unique, ranging from the timing of certain events to inside jokes. The youngest members of your family can even gain a connection to their ancestors through rituals that have been passed down through the ages.

Traditions and rituals don’t have to involve a holiday, but as we are currently right in the middle of the holiday season, it just so happens that most of us are spending lots of time preparing for and enjoying holiday traditions at the moment. Because of the emotional connection that is tied to the events, foods, songs and rituals that surround holidays year round (but most significantly the holidays in December), it’s important to be aware of just how important these moments are to your family as a whole, and to your family members as individuals.

In today’s modern society, as we are constantly confronted with the interference of technology and with the advent of an ever-changing definition of “family,” it can be challenging to honor traditions that many family members have strong emotional connections to. We must all work to find a way to put down our electronic gadgets and make compromises that will enable us to keep our time-honored traditions alive. Even as family structures shift, the stability of practicing family rituals will keep any family strongly bonded and emotionally sound.

We here at TinyShift would like to take this moment to wish all of our readers Happy Holidays.  We sincerely hope your family traditions go off without a hitch.

As we were coordinating a recent event here at the TinyShift offices, there were quite a few details that we had to iron out in short order. Just like our readers, we’re learning everyday, and this time we were learning how to produce a pretty substantially sized project by working together as a team.

Whether you’re just starting your self-improvement journey or if you’ve been walking down the path for awhile now, remember that being a good team player is a skill that you’ll use in multiple areas of your life. Make sure you can hold your own when it comes to the areas listed below, and you’ll see the payoff in your work life, your friendships, your family life, and even your love life.

1. Effective communication skills – Speak your mind and know when it’s your turn to listen to others’ ideas.
2. Unique knowledge base  - Bring a skill to the table that your team values, and keep honing it so that your value doesn’t depreciate.
3. Dependability – A functional team needs all of its members to do their part well and on time.
4. Team loyalty - If you don’t believe in your team and the projects you’re working on, you might as well quit now.
5. Strong work ethic – Don’t let anyone walk all over you, but be willing to push your limits when you’re asked to.
6. Openness to new ideas – A person who is ‘always right’ will never make a good team member.
7. Willingness to ask for help – While they need you to be able to pull your load, being part of a team means you all help eachother anytime you can.

If you think about it – all of the skills or attributes listed above apply to many relationships in your life. Sure, we usually associate working well as a team with our professional lives, but truth be told, old fashioned teamwork is what makes the world go ’round. And when there’s a lack of teamwork, chaos generally ensues in short order.

Keep your team-building skills on the burner at all times. Let them simmer, but make sure there’s a steady fire under them. That way, you’ll never have to attend a team event empty handed, and you’ll be sure to impress everyone!