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Lies: Why We Tell Them and When to Stop

Photo courtesy of Katie Tegtmeyer
Ask anyone how they feel about lying, and the vast majority of adults and even children would respond that it is wrong. They might also tell you that they don’t do it.

They’d be lying.

While we’ve all been conditioned to strive for honesty, truth and honor - the fact remains that most of us tell “half-truths” on a semi-regular basis. In fact, the act of lying is  a natural human trait. When questioned, most of us would say we fight against that trait, but in reality, we just can’t help ourselves.

But why do we do it?

Psychologists have been scratching their heads over this very question for a long time. Since the mere concept of lying has such a negative connotation, being dishonest is not something that many people like to admit to, making it a complicated phenomenon that is difficult to study and therefore, understand.

The fact remains that lying has interested psychologists for years precisely because of its complexity. Thus, many studies have been completed with the goal of discovering the motivation behind lies and what types of people tell the biggest whoppers.

One thing’s for certain: the ability to lie effectively is actually a sign of intellect and high cognitive ability. For me, that information conjured up a mental image of playing Truth or Dare with the likes of Hannibal Lector, but you don’t have to be an evil genius to tell a tall tale. Here’s what researchers know about the why behind the lie:

  • Saving our butts – The vast majority of lies happen when we’re attempting to stay out (or get out) of trouble. Yeah, sure, we know that honesty’s always the best policy, but we want to look good, even if we have to lie to make that happen.
  • Keeping the peace – What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right?
  • Flattery – We bring out these little white lies to make other people feel good about themselves. Who knew distorting the truth could be so altruistic?
  • Power imbalance – There’s a power dynamic in every relationship – it may shift in different situations – but in general, the person with less power often resorts to lying to the person in control because it just seems easier.
  • Societal rules – As was demonstrated in the movie “The Invention of Lying,” life would be a very different experience if we blurted out truths 24/7. Imagine admitting to your boss that you think she’s ugly, or telling everyone that you were late to the party because you had an episode of explosive diarrhea.  Societal norms keep us at arms’ length from people we don’t intimately know, thus making it necessary to be less than honest, or risk embarrassment nearly constantly.

What I found interesting is the fact that even animals have the ability to lie to each other! Disappointingly, however, humans are the only species who have ability to lie to ourselves (and not even realize it.)

The truth is, as humans, we’re primarily motivated by maintaining our sense of self and maintaining successful relationships. These two gigantic motivating factors are at play every time we interact with other people. Thus, we stay mum about the negative parts of ourselves, and put a little “twist” on our accomplishments and merits. As long as you aren’t harboring a huge, life changing secret (like the fact that you’re having an affair), sticking to little white lies is probably not going to get you into any trouble.

I said probably.

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Cool, Calm & Collected: A How-to Guide

fonzie

Photo courtesy of Pat Williams

Throughout my life, I’ve been told numerous times that I always seem to have everything under control. “Cool as a cucumber,” is how I’m described, even when faced with what may seem like an insurmountable challenge.

I attribute my ability to “keep it together” to several very influential factors. First, I have to give a nod to both nature and nurture. My parents certainly have their wits about them and did a good job raising me to be capable and tenacious. Second, I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of difficulties - starting at a very young age.

During a crisis or emergency, it’s a normal reaction to feel panicky or to lose control of the situation at hand. Many people struggle to reign in their emotions when the pressure is on. If you’re someone who feels out of control or helpless in complicated or stressful situations, luckily there is hope for you.

By following a few simple guidelines, you can learn how to react more effectively and efficiently the next time a problematic situation arises.

  1. Step outside of the situation. In order to handle crisis situations with aplomb, remove yourself from the equation.  Look at the scenario from a third-person point of view in order to assess what needs to be done, and how to do it.
  2. Use a quiet voice. It may not come naturally at first, but I learned this particular tip a long time ago from one of my teachers, and it’s extremely effective at calming people down.  I always noticed that she spoke quietly whenever chaos was about to ensue, and the practice stuck with me to this day.
  3. Choose your reactions. The power of choice can be quite momentous if you actually put it to use. In situations where your mind and body seem to have an ‘automatic stress response,’ practice choosing a different reaction. Make this happen by becoming astutely aware of the very beginning of stressful situations and your natural reactions to them.  By acknowledging that you are no longer going to react with emotion or panic, you will have taken control over your own behavior.  Your brain will begin to respond accordingly by creating new automatic responses - if you consistently choose to react calmly to stress.
  4. Diffuse with humor. Let me preface this with a disclaimer: Not all situations are joke-appropriate. With that being said, if you can find the funny in the face of a challenge, use positive humor instead of sarcasm, which can have a negative impact on your psyche instead of making you calmer.
  5. Look to the future. A very good friend of mine once helped me through an extremely difficult time, and her tactics really resonated with me. Perhaps the most impactful was that “nothing lasts forever,” and the general sentiment that “this too, shall pass.” This mindset has gotten me through dozens of challenging moments and situations over the past decade, and it can help you, too. Picture yourself in the future – whether that’s tomorrow or next year. The crisis you are currently dealing with will be a thing of the past, and you will have survived to tell about it.

It always helps put things into perspective when you ask yourself, “How important is this to the big picture of my life?” Even though some of the things life throws at us can be messy, complicated, trying, annoying and undesirable – they may not have much bearing on your future at all.

keepcalm

Photo courtesy of Yeseren

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The Working Woman: How to Ask Your Boss for a Raise

boss

Photo courtesy of Kheel Center at Cornell

Did you know that a gender gap still exists in regards to salary?

According to the National Women’s Law Center, over a lifetime of working, women make approximately $400,000 less than their male counterparts who are employed in the same field with equal credentials. To catch up, women would apparently have to delay retirement for an additional 12 years, working well into their so-called ‘golden years.’

It sounds a lot worse than it really is, though.

After reading several articles in popular media regarding the gender pay gap, I set out to do some research on the topic. I discovered that there is a ton of media hype surrounding this issue, most often led by feminist and political groups attempting to make their voice heard or secure more female voters.

Digging a little deeper, I found out that, while a discrepancy does exist, it actually has little to do with discrimination. Many reports suggest that what women expect, want, and demand out of their professional lives often differs from the goals of their male peers.

Women are four times less likely than men to initiate a conversation with their superior(s) about a pay raise.  In fact, women also don’t fare well when it comes to negotiating their starting salaries during interviews, which sets the pace for their future income. They dominate when it comes to negotiating for someone else, like perhaps the company they work for. Unfortunately, a lot of women don’t put themselves high enough on their own priority lists, and also have cited “fears of asking for too much and being denied” as major deterrents when it comes to asking for more money.

If you’re a working woman, or if you’ve got a close friend or family member who is, beat the odds and get that raise:

  • Do your research – Know ahead of time what your magic number is, and bring solid evidence that will show your boss that you’re being paid less than you deserve. Get a really firm grip on what your market value is before your one-on-one with the head honcho.
  • Create a collaborative vibe – Start the negotiation meeting off by saying that you understand that money might be tight at the moment. Approach the situation with a positive attitude - be upbeat and friendly. Avoid playing the victim card.
  • Inquire about your job performance – Ask your boss how pleased he or she is with your work. From there, see if they are aware of your market value. Keep the talk focused on the job – not on you personally.
  • Think small – You know how we feel about tiny steps in the right direction here at TinyShift! Be prepared to accept incremental boosts in pay rather than a gigantic raise all at once. Even if you’re getting paid less than someone else in your department, catching up in salary can take time.
  • Have options - If the negotiation seems to be headed south, let your superiors know that Company SB has offered you a position at the salary you desire. If you’re an excellent and important employee, you’ll be hard to replace, and a good boss will recognize it.
  • Be good at what you do – Going into your boss’s office and asking for a higher salary certainly means you know you’re really good at your job. Right?  If you’re slacking, or even just giving “average” effort – instead of getting a raise, you might end up getting fired.

Lastly, in today’s challenging economic times, be sure to approach any discussion about a raise with caution, and use your best judgment regarding when to make your request. Be sure that your boss is in a really good mood and has recently experienced some kind of “win.” Be mindful of the fact that you have a job, keeping in mind that many Americans are struggling to even get hired, let alone make more money. That being said, it is possible to negotiate for a better paycheck as long as your approach is cautious, positive, and reasonable.

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5 Ways to Ask Better Questions

thinkingPhoto courtesy of Jacob Botter

As I’ve become more in tune with my everyday experiences, I’ve starting noticing that a big indicator of success is how good someone is at the fine art of conversation.

That’s right – discussion, chit chat, a good old repartee: newsflash – if you can’t hold a solid, two-sided convo, your potential for success may be limited. How far you’ll make it on your quest for happiness, money, wisdom – whatever it is that you’re looking for – can be determined by how well you hold up your end of a discussion.

Regardless of the setting, be it professional, personal, or on a tier somewhere in between, so many of us ask simply awful questions. The average adult tends to go on and on in extended soliloquys without even noticing that their intended audience isn’t even listening.

Silence makes some people quite uncomfortable, as does looking ignorant or uninformed; therefore, they cover up their lack of knowledge and fear of quietude with a long line of monologues. Afraid to be direct, many people today just aren’t willing to ask the tough questions – instead they ask boring, yes or no questions just to fill the silence.

Rather than trying to fill a quiet room with sound, view every potential conversation with someone as a potential to grow and learn. Likewise, asking yourself the right questions can inspire you to take action rather than lead you toward apathy and stagnation.

Most people spend a lot of time thinking about how to answer things in the smartest, most favorable ways. As it turns out, asking good questions is much more impressive than giving the “right” answers.

  1. Ask open-ended questions. The best questions are formulated creatively. Avoid long-winded questions that leave your conversation partner confused, though. Be concise, creative and clear about what you’d like to know.
  2. Refrain from filling in the blanks. Sometimes, what starts out as a question ends up offering your respondent multiple choices, which can skew his or her answers. End your questions at the question mark, even if you’re not immediately presented with an answer. A little bit of silence is normal, and ok.
  3. Have the courage to ask tough questions. As a general rule, people love it when you ask them questions! It shows them that you are interested in what they have to say, especially if your questions are well-thought-out and graze more than just the surface. If it makes you feel more comfortable, add a disclaimer, such as, “Let me know if this is too personal, but…” Most people will respect your tenacity and appreciate your confidence, making them more likely to confide in you.
  4. Pay attention to the answers. Although asking the right questions is of great importance, remember to stay focused on the answers rather than dwelling on what to ask next. An authentic give and take is what a good conversation is all about.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask a follow-up question. If you asked a difficult question and got a non-answer, don’t be afraid to stop them before they’ve gone off in a completely different direction. Gently interrupt and re-word your question, and be sure to apologize for being unclear.

Another good thing to remember is this: if you truly don’t understand something, avoid the temptation to nod along as if everything is perfectly clear to you. Ask as many follow-up questions as you need until the answer starts making sense.

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Anthony Robbins

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Get Twisted: We Have a Winner!

gettwisted screenshot title

We are thrilled to announce that Ashley Cieglo from Mississippi is the lucky winner of our Get Twisted Yoga Package!

Ashley will receive:

We look forward to hearing about how she incorporates them into her yoga practice.

Congratulations, Ashley!

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How to Unblock Your Life Path

blocked pathPhoto courtesy of Nicholas Canup

Many of us are striving for something better, something more. We want a life that’s full of the kind of experiences and people that make us happy.

As you move toward living your best life, you’re probably working daily to make changes to your circumstances. You may be surprised when you discover that the hardest hurdles to overcome are the intangible kind.

Unhappy at work? You can get a new job. Lackluster marriage? Invest in couple’s therapy. Trouble paying the mortgage? Get a tabula rasa with a good bankruptcy lawyer. If you’re still feeling a general dissatisfaction with life even after you’ve taken strides to change the obvious, you’re probably wondering:

What is blocking my path to happiness?

For each of us, the precise answer will be different, but one thing is certain: the most important changes come from within. In order to live authentically, you must continually challenge yourself to live up to your own expectations. Is it easy? Absolutely not. But it’s so totally worth it.

As you take a closer look at what’s standing in your way, see if any of the following inner obstacles are blocking your forward momentum:

  • Passivity – Allowing yourself to get too comfortable with a mediocre existence can and will prevent you from ever making significant changes. Let yourself feel the discomfort instead of becoming numb. A little bit of pain for a lifetime of happiness is more than a fair trade.
  • Fear of failure – Sometimes, a fear of failing becomes strong enough to blind us from acknowledging to ourselves that we need a new approach. Denial is a deep ditch to dig yourself out of, but once you’re out of the ditch, your view of the journey ahead will be much clearer.
  • Envy – Take it from me – pining over the grass that’s always greener on the other side is putting your energy into the wrong yard. Buy some fertilizer and watch your own grass grow. Maybe even plant a garden!
  • Regret – Looking longingly backward in time, wishing for a do-over or obsessing over a what-if is a waste of your time in the here and now. You can’t go back again. Shift your focus from the coulda, woulda, shoulda and start telling yourself: ‘I can.’
  • Unrealistic expectations – Try to set reasonable, attainable goals for yourself. Expecting perfection will leave you disappointed in yourself rather than feeling accomplished and confident.
  • Guilt – If you’re living with the guilt surrounding an event from your past, attempt to make amends with the situation. This will allow you to move forward more freely and easily. Feeling guilty about your current circumstances? Remind yourself that no one’s perfect. Adjust your behavior accordingly, let go of the guilt and embrace yourself – flaws and all.
  • Impatience – Opportunities for immediate gratification are bountiful. As information and results become readily available, you may find yourself frustrated with achievements that take time.  Feeling impatient can really weigh you down, making you crabby and edgy. Remember: good things come to those who wait. Your dreams will come true if you have the patience to put in the necessary time, effort and dedication to get there.

As you gather speed on your journey forward, you’re going to get really good at swerving to avoid any outside obstacles that threaten your momentum toward your best life. By eliminating any interference from within, you’ll be sure to cross the finish line even sooner.

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Road Rage: Why it’s Bad for Your Health

roadrage2Photo courtesy of Josh Greenfield

Road rage is a behavior that we often poke fun at and think of as a quirky personality trait. The reality of road rage, however, is definitely not funny. Feeling personally offended by what other drivers are doing often leads to fits of intense anger, aggression and in some cases, violence.

Although it is easy to make jokes about, if you or a loved one regularly get extremely agitated while driving, it’s time to do some self assessment. Because of the potentially serious outcomes, it is important to get a handle on how to control your emotions behind the wheel. What sparked my interest in this behavior pattern is the fact that my own husband is aggressive behind the wheel, and it concerns me.

Studies have conflicting results on whether road rage is more common with men or women. Regardless of sex, anyone can exhibit the behaviors of road rage if they assume that other drivers are out to get in their way. This may ring true in other areas of life as well. To determine if your driving frustration has the potential to become dangerous, ask yourself a few simple questions:

  • Are you dealing with a lot of pent-up stress in your life?
  • Do you view driving as a race?
  • Do you feel like other drivers are trying to annoy you?
  • Is it common for you to drive above the posted speed limit?
  • How often do you find yourself tailgating someone?
  • Do you honk your horn or flash your lights in an attempt to show your anger to other drivers?
  • Is swearing something you do often in your car, especially directed at other drivers?
  • Do you often feel that other drivers are “in your way” and need to be taught a lesson?

If you or someone you know answered positively to the above, know that there are ways to help a raging driver calm down behind the wheel and turn back into a reasonable driver.  Some steps to take include:

  • Remember that other drivers are human. In fact, they may be dealing with marriage trouble, screaming kids in the car, or maybe they aren’t feeling well. Whatever they did that annoyed you was probably an honest mistake and had nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally.
  • Drop the anonymity. You are not your car, and you shouldn’t let it become a shield while you act like a bully. Treat other drivers like you would treat them face-to-face in a social situation. Use courtesy, and give them the benefit of the doubt.
  • Listen to good music. I’m not suggesting you pipe classical symphonies through your vehicle every time you drive, but there seems to be some pretty solid evidence supporting the fact that quieter, more relaxing music leads to less instances of aggressive driving.
  • Look at the big picture. Anger is not good for you – plain and simple. Is it really worth getting your blood pressure and heart rate elevated over?

People who regularly get angry are three times more likely to have a heart attack than their more carefree peers. Getting all bent out of shape over a driving mistake certainly isn’t going to improve the situation, and the only person affected will be you (and anyone in the car with you). By letting the incident roll off your back, you’ll enjoy the rest of your ride and be on your way to making calmness into a habit. Your driving stress level will decrease, and if you’re lucky, your good attitude will eek its way into other areas of your life, too.

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What Can Mindfulness Add to Your Sex Life?

kissongrassPhoto courtesy of Jon Rawlinson

Mindfulness makes for an existence that is much more enjoyable, simply because you’re living in the moment and paying attention to your life. Living a mindful life means that, regardless of what you’re doing, you are present – mentally as well as physically. Many people skate through life distracted, thinking about everything else except the moment at hand. What does that mean for the moment at hand? Well, it gets passed over, ignored: an experience lost.

When I was a child, I remember feeling like I always wanted to have “something to look forward to.” Continually excited about the future, getting older, having adult experiences.  Hindsight tells me there are so many moments I must have missed.

Rather than dwell on what I didn’t experience when I was ten years old, I will give my young self credit for one thing: knowing that life only gets better and better with age. As we gain self-awareness and clarity of mind, we learn how to seek out the kind of experiences that will make us happiest. One of those adult experiences just happens to be… sex.

It’s true that, as a general rule, people don’t typically put “mindfulness” and “sex” in the same sentence, but they should! I am here to tell you that it is absolutely impossible to have a completely satisfying sexual encounter if you’re not fully committed to the moment.

In fact, many cases of sexual dysfunction have improved drastically with the practice of mindfulness, according to Lori Brotto, professor of gynecology at the University of British Columbia. Both women and men suffering from low libido or low self-esteem were able to “…increase their sexual desire by [becoming more] attuned to their body’s sexual responses.” Not only did their desire increase, but they enjoyed the act of sex more, too.

For those of you who already have a decent sex life – wanna kick things up a notch? Luckily, applying mindfulness strategies in the bedroom isn’t only for couples with existing problems.  The reality is that most long-term, committed couples admit to wanting to spice things up after awhile. They don’t necessarily have any complaints – but a little something new wouldn’t hurt, either.

According to Marsha Lucas, PhD., a huge percentage of her clients ask for advice about how to spice up their sex lives. Years of the same old, same old can get, well – old!  Mindfulness meditation is what she prescribes to her patients who want help in this area. At first, most of them look at her funny, but they always come back the next visit and thank her profusely.

It’s often helpful to try exploring mindfulness as a couple outside of the bedroom first. Together with your partner, take turns sitting in a chair while the other person feeds you different pieces of fruit with your eyes closed. Practice focusing on the sensation and taste of the fruit in your mouth for a full minute before swallowing. During this time, also notice how your body feels in the chair, and how your feet feel touching the floor. Push all other outside thoughts away anytime they enter your mind.

To bring mindfulness with you into the bedroom, you’ll switch from focusing on food to focusing on your partner (and yourself). Again keep all other thoughts at bay and pay attention to how your partner’s body feels, tastes and smells as you explore it. It’s also ok to observe how the bed (or table, floor, etc) feels against your body. It’s easy to find these things exciting with a new partner, but they sometimes need to be rediscovered or rekindled in long-term relationships.

To learn more about bringing mindfulness into your love life, check out this book written by Dr. Lucas herself: Rewire Your Brain For Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships and Using the Science of Mindfulness. Oh – and remember – practice, practice, practice! ;)

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The Golden Rule: Reversed

goldPhoto courtesy of Mykl Roventine

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

We’ve all heard some version of this quote before, usually as children when our parents were attempting to turn us into decent people. “Remember the Golden Rule,” my mother would often remind me - before I did something I’d end up regretting. As it turns out, following the Golden Rule is a pretty effective way to ensure that you treat other people with respect.

But – what should you do when those other people aren’t returning the favor? Do you still have to follow the Golden Rule? My vote’s on no – but don’t stoop to their level, either. Putting up with poor treatment and disrespect simply shouldn’t be on your To-Do list as you move toward the life you really want. Be on the lookout for anyone who wants to subject you to:

  • Abuse – I think we all know that it’s not ok to get knocked around by someone and then stick around for more. But remember, emotional abuse can be just as, or even more damaging, and should be treated so. If someone is abusing you – in any form – they don’t love you, and it’s time for you to move on.
  • Taking you for granted - Many people bring this one on themselves, but that doesn’t make it right. If you’re being treated more like the hired help than a spouse or a friend, it’s time for you to wake up and smell the insult. You deserve to be acknowledged for your efforts.
  • Inconsistency – You need people in your life who you can count on when you need them. Constantly receiving mixed or contradictory messages from those who are close to you can leave you feeling discombobulated instead of how friends should make you feel: understood and confident.
  • Mean girl behavior – You know this personality type from way back in middle school. It comes in the form of tightly knit groups of (usually) girls who are eager to spread rumors in such a passive-aggressive manner that you end up thinking you’re the crazy one. Unfortunately, mean girl behavior has stuck with some women well into adulthood, and it can be just as traumatizing to you now as it was at age 12. The mean girl (or guy) typically draws in at least one other friend to harass or bully their peers. Doing so gives her a sense of control, and takes the attention off of her own insecurities. My advice on dealing with mean girls in adulthood? People can only bring you down if you let them.
  • Jealousy - Feelings of insecurity can lead others to believe they are inherently “not good enough.” Because of this, any perceived threat to your relationship with them will be met with anger – and fear that you will discover their “unworthiness.” Although you may think that consistent reassurance can eventually put an end to any behaviors a jealous friend subjects you to; that’s simply not going to happen. Since jealousy stems from a low sense of self, the change will have to come from within the person who is feeling jealous. Don’t allow yourself to be punished for someone else’s low self-esteem.
  • Lying - Being lied to can range from annoying to extremely frustrating, depending on who’s telling you the lies. Everyone lies from time to time, but a close relationship with a compulsive or pathological liar can be maddening.  Getting a true compulsive liar to see the hurt they’re causing is difficult; in fact, you may need to resort to an intervention of sorts. Be forewarned – lying can be indicative of a much larger problem like narcissistic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder. If it’s not a relationship that you plan on keeping for the long term, say bye-bye to the liar and pursue relationships with more honest and forthright people.

The Golden Rule tells us to treat others how we’d like to be treated. In cases where that’s just not working, treat yourself how you’d like to be treated. Kiss the mean girls good bye and pursue outside relationships with people who make you feel good rather than drag you down.

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When Opposites Attract: Does it Last?

oppositesPhoto courtesy of Ragnar Jensen

We all know that the ever elusive ‘true love’ is a mysterious phenomenon that happens at least in a lifetime – if you’re lucky.

So what exactly constitutes “falling in love?” On a quest to determine if there is indeed more than one way to find your “love of a lifetime,” I set out to do some reading on one of the most debated of relationship types - The Odd Couple.

Does the theory that opposites attract hold any weight? Psychoanalysts have been debating this concept for years, and some believe that when we feel an attraction to someone who is very different from us, there are very scientific reasons at work.

Feeling drawn to a lover simply because they possess qualities we may be lacking can elicit a heady high that is sometimes mistaken for true and long-lasting love.

It’s actually quite common for people with vastly different romantic ideologies to make a love connection. The reasoning behind having an attraction to your exact opposite may go something like this, “He completes me.”

But will it last?

Relationships between people with extremely conflicting personality types are often filled with passion and fire. The bad news is that the passion and fire often shift to irritation and arguments. Especially in the case of polar opposites – soon enough the early passion may fizzle, leaving two totally different people looking questioningly at each other, as if to say, “What are we doing here?”

When the initial appeal wears off like a buzz, what’s left is similar to a bad hangover. You’re in despair and agony and probably vow never to do it again – but the attraction of someone with abilities and traits that you lack can repeatedly draw you back because you find them so fascinating and attractive.

The good news is that you absolutely do not have to seek out and marry someone exactly like you. How boring! Most people with the longest lasting and most satisfying relationships have some really solid things in common with their mates. Notably, they also report that there are at least a few things about their partner that are strikingly different from their own personalities.

And the proof is in the…sweaty t-shirt?

You may not understand where I’m going with this, but bear with me. The most interesting study (to me) was one in which researchers at the University of Liverpool asked women to smell men’s dirty t-shirts.  They were then asked to rank the shirts according to how attracted they were to the smell. The results implicated that women typically sniff out men with at least a 50% difference from them in a specific set of genes. The MHC (major histocompatibility complex) were the genes in question during this particular study.

Women who reported marital satisfaction (in heterosexual relationships) showed differences in their MHC genes when compared with their husband’s. Couples who shared more than 50% of the same MHC genes typically admitted to an adulterous affair on the part of the wife. The MHC gene has not been shown to affect men’s relationship satisfaction at all.

Just as it is with all of the other fun stuff on this journey called life - for best results in the relationship arena – everything in moderation. Next time you’re on a date, you’ll know what to do. If the pit fits, he’s a keeper!

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