12 Things That Could be Making Your Life a Living Hell (So Stop Doing Them!)

Photo courtesy of Evil Erin

Without even being aware of it, many of us engage in negative behaviors that can make finding true happiness difficult, if not impossible. If you practice any of the following habits, put an end to them as soon as you possibly can!

1. Looking for a scapegoat  
   I hear people playing the blame game constantly. Trust me, once you become ok with taking the blame, a weight will lift. Taking the blame means taking responsibility, and that can only lead you to good places.
2. Caring so much about what others think of you
   Caring too much about what others think of us stems from a lack of self-love. Without self-love, we look to others for approval. Love yourself, and no one else has to!
3. Putting yourself down
   Stop leading with your flaws. Many of us point out what is “wrong” with us because we don’t want to give others the power to talk behind our backs. Start embracing your true self, and your perceived flaws may turn into something you love.
4. Trash talking others behind their backs
   I’m not saying that all gossip is bad, but be mindful of spreading negative rumors. First, they may or may not be true, and they can be extremely hurtful. Also, constantly spitting vitriol puts you in a negative frame of mind, and will make you look like a bad person.
5. Worrying about things you can’t control
   This was difficult for me, and I underwent years of therapy to learn how to stop worrying unnecessarily. Designate a time each day as your ‘Worry Window’. All worrying must be done within that time frame. If worries pop up at other times, try to postpone thinking about them. Teach yourself to accept uncertainty. Practice mindfulness to keep your attention focused on the present.
6. Yelling
   Yelling does nothing for your overall sense of peace and happiness, not to mention the effect it has on the people you are yelling at. Speaking in a soft tone has been proven to be much more effective at getting what you want, anyway.
7. Trying to be something you’re not
   Don’t get me wrong – it’s important to always strive for small improvements in yourself, but hold on to who you are at your core. Changing into a completely different person is never the answer.
8. Being so self-centered
   Make it a practice to put yourself in others’ shoes regularly. Expecting everything to go your way will only make you frustrated and will earn you the reputation of a self-absorbed egoist.
9. Always needing to be right
   No one can be right all of the time. And remember, if you keep insisting that you’re right; you’re basically telling others that they’re always wrong.
10. Complaining
    Instead of complaining, figure out what is bothering you and see what you can do to fix the situation.
11. Unrealistic expectations
    Don’t stop pushing yourself to achieve your goals, but keep your ambitions realistic so you don’t face insurmountable obstacles that could deter you.
12. Asking why
    Instead of asking “Why did this happen to me?” or “Why can’t anything ever go right in my life?” –  change it around, and ask “Why not?”

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